I’m just gonna be honest and tell
you the first thing that made me
stop breathing, and it was your teeth,
peeking out of your mouth like little moons.
I was just a kid then, staring at the
big bad wolf like maybe his fangs could be kissed, like maybe I could get close
enough to taste the night on
his scowl, but I settled for a hand
on the shoulder, instead.
I’ll let you be the hero if it means you’ll love me.
I’ll be the villain if it means you’ll
I don’t care.
I’ve got a handful of my
own darkness and if you won’t take
it then I’ll swallow it down myself
until I am something terrifying
and you have to come running to try and take it out of me.
Because the big bad wolf doesn’t
know how to use his big bad hands
and I know this like I know my name,
so I wait.
One day, I will stop talking about monsters.
I will stop trying to grow claws just
so that I can run with the wolves.
I will be the person who found you
and hated you until it felt like love,
and you’ll pretend not to notice the difference.
I will wait until your teeth are suns
and then I’ll be Icarus.
I’ll fly and sing your name on the way
asks for scotch, two fingers deep, no ice.
The strangers with hunched backs
all grunt in admiration and approval around him.
One of them asks him what he does for a living.
He takes a sip without wincing
and doesn’t answer.
There’s a 17 year old patient of his who won’t
stop telling him about how bad she wants him to fuck her.
Another middle-aged woman
can’t take a shower because she
thinks her dead husband is trapped in the drain.
He finishes his drink and thinks
about all the different ways
a person can drown.
A psychiatrist walks into a bar
and gets drunk off his ass drinking hard liquor.
He can’t remember the last time he
felt this full and on fire.
The world is spinning like it’s
trying to run away, so he starts talking
to God in the parking lot.
God answers with a gust of wind
just gentle enough to knock him
to the ground, laughing like a child
who has just heard his first words.
He should probably get some help,
1. Do not swallow yourself to make room for others.
2. Your ribcage is not a vessel for others, let them go, they’re causing you to sink.
3. Do not let your tears mix in with the cologne on his chest. Walk away.
4. You are here for no one but yourself.
5. Not giving your self the proper nutrients will not make you happy, it will keep you down.
7. Spend more time at home, you won’t regret it.
8. Vodka is never the answer. For the record, neither is beer.
9. Pull yourself out of your own head.
10. Don’t let the days pass while you hide away from the world, get out."